interrogation

where do i look for the lost habit of believing
that the shadows may keep me safe?
what happened to the mirror i broke & crushed
to escape from my own trusted image?
why does the horizon remind me of unspeakable
truths and this nefarious need for pain?

how can i know if this is what they call living?
how do i get out of here without leaving?

.
© Anmol Arora

Day 14
(Inter)National Poetry Month

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Night-Time Wonderings

There are those moments when you realize that you do not suit the standards set to be followed by you. You are yourself, but not someone who would take the step forth to conquer all the odds. Some people are just meant to be living in a world created within and not that which comes in contact with the many other worlds conjured by the lives of all.

I am an entity like any other. I am no more significant than an ant trampled beneath my feet. To realize the insignificance of things and of your life, you come to accept yourself, even if your understanding is embedded in darkness and isolation. Is it bad to let the days go by with limbs measuring the length and breadth of bed? Does inactivity exist when the mind continues to whirl images of memories, of desires unfulfilled, of unreachable dreams?

Every thought is contradictory, because there is not a basic idea or emotion or feeling to guide a life. We are humans and thus, we are entangled in the branches of the ideas and emotions and feelings. There is no right answer because there is no right question. Everything is the same, everything is different: Life just can’t be understood.

Who is to measure the worth of a life lived in play? Who is to measure the waste of a life lived in inactivity? What needs to be done? Which direction of the contradictions to cling to?

I am drifting to sleep, I am singing to myself, I am thinking. What needs to be done? What should I do? Where am I? Where am I to go from here?

.

Image source

Sunshine!

Well, it is quite rare that I write a post accepting an award because I tend to accept them thanking profusely the person who chose me for the beautiful appreciation/accolade and avoid posting about it. But I guess I would write a post this time around, for it is my dear friend and a very talented writer Merbear who has bestowed upon me this beautiful Sunshine Award.

Rules:-

1. Post the logo.

2. Accept the nomination and link back to the one who nominated you.

3. Answer the 11 questions asked.

4. Nominate other blogs and inform them about their nomination.

Okay, let’s get started.

This is the award logo:-

I am already done with the second step; so going forth towards the third one (the questions are in bold and the answers in plain text) :-

1. Have you ever talked to the wildlife in your yard? I guess not..

2. What is your middle name? I haven’t got any middle name. I find my name already so long (even though that is not true) that I rather prefer to be called HA.

3. What was your favorite subject in school? Political Science and English

4. Name one blogger that you think is funny. (No, it doesn’t have to be me, although how nice would that be!) Well, it is you merbear.. 😀

5. Do you think it is true that dogs smile? Dogs yap; they don’t smile or do they?

6. Can you pick things up with your toes? I can. Oh yes I can but I am still a novice.. my father though is an expert.

7. Have you ever written a check your ass can’t cash? Never..

8. Beatles or Rolling Stones? Beatles..

9. Do you know how to do the Funky Chicken? I do. What is that? I don’t know.

10. What was your first car?  No car.. I am still a novice in driving; not even allowed to drive the family car.

11. Do you believe that if all the raindrops were lollipops and gumdrops, oh what a world it would be? I would rather have them lime-flavored.

Next step is to nominate other blogs.. well, this is the task I find the most difficult because I just can’t chose among so many wonderful bloggers. So I am going to nominate you, you and you.. everyone who is reading this post..

I have done it.. 🙂

Draw me, sketch me….

Draw me, sketch me, make a portrait of the being that is me

Show me who I am, what I do, which way I should go

Show it to me through your art, tell me who I am

Write me, read me, scan me, make a novel out of me

Let me know who I am, what I do, which way I should go

Let me be known through your creativity who I am

Won’t you do this for me, this much I ask from you

Would you do this for me, I ask nothing else from you

Show me, let me know- would you?- Draw me, sketch me,

write me, read me, make a portrait, write a novel out of me.

The End and the Arising Questions… OH!

Why is it so?- We realize someone’s importance in life only when that person is gone or is about to go.

Why is it so?- We can’t make the first move…everyone wants the other person to make the first move.

Why is it so?- I miss someone and now want to talk to that person… oh! but that person is gone in a way that the person would never return.

Things unsaid… Talks unfinished… Friendship futile…

It would not be morally good on my part to share this story but may be, I need to see what other people think about it…

A girl I met in school, a girl i befriended(sort of anyway), a girl i talked to about each and every class gossip, a girl who stopped communicating, a girl who went away- flew away towards eternity after a short period of time…

Now I think why I ended our friendship? Just because she also ended it. Why I couldn’t start anew and be a friend of hers… Oh- these questions, these mere questions- they don’t hold any importance now..

Its been 7 months… but still these questions arise in my mind……

I want to know where does the pride come in way of friendship? Why we resolute to maintain silence?

Oh! Why is it so “the end” enlightens us and makes us realize our mistakes……

That night I received the call from a friend conveying to me that ‘she’ has gone…. Just gone like that.

And since then, I am looking for these answers…. to these questions that arise and go but I know they would arise again until when I get the answers.

There is no particular answer…. no particular answer would satisfy me…

The relation- the friendship which could have been revived is gone forever- it can only be talked about….

I still have kept a diary on which we played some silly games some times….

Oh! The time has gone….. The end had to come…..

Hope… To understand

Hope… To know the truth

Hope… To grab the light

Hope… The answers would come

Truth… The end would come

Truth… There is an end to everything

Hope… I would understand

Its existence

Its beauty

Its darkness

Its Light

Its Truth…