what i think when i think about myself

IMG_20180627_194322_462

the unembellished glass on my window
is not of a reflecting kind, it changes color
with the sun’s brow, disguised by its own
retention of what hitherto it did beget –

when i think about selves, i mirror
the glass of my window, and pluck apples
from my eyes to taste the sense of sight,
and single out every experience in its own light,

when i think about lives, i snigger
like the loony bark of the mutt outside, and push
into the so-called oblivion, a thought to right
the wrongs of being one of a kind, of this plight,

when i think about you, i am triggered
by your mirror of my own life, and try to pick
from your eyes, any sign of a comic relief, to indict
myself for subsumption of an egotistic delight,

when i think about myself, i quiver
like the potent wine of the sky outside, and pull
out from my own self, a torn thought to site
every memory, to extinguish into the night.

.

For Poets United Midweek Motif

Photo edited through Instagram and Prisma

Contact me: Instagram, Facebook, Gmail

*Linking with dVerse OLN

And that is when I get hurt…

I ask myself not to expect

anything from anyone

you are all alone

and that is the sole truth

but I expect

and that is when I get hurt.

~

I ask myself not to speak

anything to anyone

don’t open your heart

for people will judge you

but I speak

and that is when I get hurt.

~

I ask myself not to dream

anything, not a single thing

don’t fantasize what

you can never have

but I dream

and that is when I get hurt.

~

I expect. I speak. I dream.

And I get hurt.

Look me in the eyes

Look me in the eyes

these eyes tell my story

look beyond those tears

look beyond that renitence

that appears in my eyes

Look and tell me

what you see in them

tell me what you perceive

tell me my own story

story I don’t know myself

for I can’t look

in my own eyes.

May be the future isn’t so bright for me…

May be the future isn’t so bright for me

May be I won’t always be free

But at least I won’t be as trapped as I am now

I know no one, not even I myself can make such a vow

But I got to have some faith in something

May be my decision won’t solve everything

But I got to believe, I got to have some hope

I need to stay clinging to some rope

May be the future isn’t so bright for me

But I can hope it is a far better tree

than the one upon which I sit today

Maybe I will find the lighting ray

One which will make it all fine for me

Even if I won’t always be free.

The One Who Stands Alone

Sometimes it becomes difficult for me

to know who can be a friend and who can’t be one

I thought I succeeded in making some of them

but ended up knowing I was still alone, outcasted

for the reason, that I don’t know.

I remember I have always been an outcast-

a distinct personality, a leader in himself

with neither followers nor supporters,

the person who always stood alone, that is me

Is it good for me or not to be like this,

that I don’t know but what I know is that

I won’t mind standing alone in the crowd

but I would never lose self-respect,

never will I become your tail-

I will always stand for what I find right-

friends or not, even if the courtesy of

acknowledgment you take away

from me, I won’t mind

standing alone because that is who I am-

the outcasted one, the one who stands alone.

Get the hell out of me…

I have realized

I don’t want you in my life

Just get out, get out of my mind

Get the hell out of me

I hate you

I loath you

I don’t want you

Get out of me

I want to live

I want this life

I want to live this life

I want to do everything

This is my life and it is mine

Leave its control right now

Get out

Get the hell out of me

I don’t want you

You are just my mental disorder

What can you do?

Get the hell out of me.