your hands caressing my throat like it is your own,
gentle but rough, little by little, angling to my form and function, fever-fervent and fastidious,
the calluses of your palm with a tight- en-ing resolve, recovering spaces between my hefty breaths, the carotid pumping faster for relinquishing control over life-lines,
your eyes penetrating my mind in an inebriated fullness, the hourglass, broken, the vagaries of time forgotten in its absurd arbitrariness,
— i seek you, i need you, i want you —
i want the length of you against the girth of me, the walls to be torn off, and the electricity to wreck my anatomy — my red lips chapped and bloodied to your mouth’s savagery,
pick up my pieces, and claim the night before it scatters to the winds, and hum the dirge of this happening, and moan as if this ache is all that is, this wound is all that we carve and draw from each other —
purple-bruised, volt-blue on a soft-brown skin merging into the skin of all things, submerging into a spell of an age-old (lost) modus-operandi, for consumption,
— death, little by little, living, by dying a little more, and collapsing into heaps of shins and skins, bones and beings, and to forget that it ever existed —
this venerable malady of sex and grandiosity, till loss is the only desire, the only particle left of me.
For my Guest Post/Prompt at dVerse to be published later today; I am entreating the poets to explore the idea and theme of desire & sexuality in poetry, especially through the perspectives of gender and sexual minorities. Also linking it up with the Tuesday Platform at With Real Toads.
Image source (Neck / Livingston, 1988 by Robert Mapplethorpe)
For With Real Toads’ Notebook Poetry: I do not know if my writing is even comprehensible — I do write in my notebook at times but mostly it’s when there is a rush of a particular thought or experience and I have to jot it down — so my pen glides all over the page in its need to capture all of it in a jiffy before it extinguishes to nothing — I have taken my time in penning this one down after typing it primarily with a few non-intrusive edits. Ha! As for the poem, I have used the precise terms for a particular reason which delves into the biological aspect, to distance it from desire or want. Hope it doesn’t hinder the experience. Also linking it with the Poetry Pantry at PU.
*** I have been working on a new Insta handle for about 2 months now, for literary and creative posts: @anmol.ha. For contact, you can reach out to me through my multiple profiles, enlisted here.