rufescent dreams

the red star over there, somewhat distant,
beckons me to leave the cold hearth
and seek the supple-sphere
of my beginning —

the cellular destruction, the neat phlegm,
the eyes that are weakening in their resolve
to see the world through its painful sutures,
almost always hurt,

i have a shadow that only shows the face
behind the face, the trust that has been
doomed for so long, in my own adoption
of time and its wreckage, its subliminal
annihilation of every atomic particle
on life’s horizon,

i wonder if it is to be free that i cage
myself, for if not in captivity, how would
i ever seek, ever speak when cowardice
is at my very door step, ringing the bell?

the red is deeper in the night, like a deep gash
on my thigh, and my mouth is of dust & blood,
and my dreams are but weighed and sold for
trinkets of sorrows, just so that another breath
completes its cycle in the dying light.

.
© Anmol Arora

Linking it up with The Tuesday Platform at WRT, where I am hosting this week and I have shared a Kaifi Azmi ghazal for inspiration.

13 thoughts on “rufescent dreams

  1. “I wonder if it is to be free that I cage myself” are lines I relate to. I remember in my youth that same longing to be free, yet being afraid to flee the cage’s open door. One does, eventually, take the leap and fly. It is frightening, heady, exhilarating. I look forward to reading about it in your future poems. Smiles.

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  2. I like the way the red star pulses through your poem, Anmol, and the link to blood and pain, especially in seeing ‘the world through its painful sutures’ and :
    ‘the red is deeper in the night, like a deep gash
    on my thigh, and my mouth is of dust & blood’.

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  3. Kestril Trueseeker says:

    There is a modicum of safety in those self-constructed cages, but when we are locked in with only ourselves for company we run the risk of madness.

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  4. The fourth stanza will stay with me for a while… the words soften my heart towards the behavior of certain people–those who act in ways I can’t understand towards others or even towards world issues. Fear is a very convincing companion. So, the idea that some might not do what needs doing because they are too afraid makes less upset with them, makes me wonder if things would get better for all, if we just help fight the fear instead of wasting our time pointing out that they hiding.

    A bit of a tangent, but… it stuck in my head and I couldn’t let it go. 😀

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  5. i wonder if it is to be free that i cage
    myself, ….. we define freedom in our own way…to deny the rules, to deny power its power is also freedom. We need to be free to find our own levels of freedom.

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  6. It’s such a tough axiom that pain is necessary for all spiritual growth, perhaps, as you suggest, for life across the universe. Who knew such gashes could be wombs, of heart, of poetry?

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  7. Kerry says:

    Both the opening and closing stanzas are brilliant parenthesis to the contemplation of the human condition, the body of your poem explores. I love poems that take me away from myself.

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  8. sanaarizvi says:

    This is deeply poignant and introspective in its verse and imagery, Anmol! This particular stanza will linger in my memory for a while:

    “i wonder if it is to be free that i cage
    myself, for if not in captivity, how would
    i ever seek, ever speak when cowardice
    is at my very door step, ringing the bell?”

    We are human, beautiful and unique, each a phoenix in his own right .. who rise once again from the ashes. Arz kia hai .. ❤️

    “Suna hai log usay aankh bhar ke dekhte hain,
    so uske shahar main kuch din thehar ke dekhte hain

    Suna hai hashr hain uski ghazal si aankhein
    Suna hai usko hiran dasht bhar ke dekhte hain.” 🙂

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  9. Jim says:

    The Prompter did very well, Anmol. Thank you. I love the way you backed out of the oxymoron, “i wonder if it is to be free that i cage myself.” And the last verse, a shocker. Way to go!!
    ..

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  10. mhmp77 says:

    kaykuala

    when cowardice
    is at my very doorstep,
    ringing the bell?

    The very nature of real life that keeps pulling us back from venturing out. Good thoughts HA

    Hank

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