soliloquy of a season’s change

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morning winds weigh heavier and
the body feels like a helium balloon,
canvassing the landscape through
a bare string — surrounded in a haze
of lost headspaces, memories that
do not bring home the sense of peace,
all comfort cashed without a receipt.

when we have lived through the seasons,
it shouldn’t matter how long they last —
the fan rotates on its axis, turned very low
in a gentle rush of air to breathe all loss,
to compensate for mosquito bites felt/left
in the after-state of a day’s place of rest,

as the summer picks its tinders and twigs,
writes a farewell letter (a suicide note
that was discovered before its fulfillment),
and picks on its scabs and scars that
have survived the test of every crime
witnessed by the tender body of life —
high, helium, heavier, halfway done.

i pull back from the edge of the flight —
the flock of weathered passions and aged
ruminations, all in confinement —

i choose winters — undying deaths,
mossy sepulchers, fog-white dreams
and a ponderous pause — silent,
seething, singing.

© Anmol Arora 2018

Image source (Times Change by Dmitri Matkovsky)
For Midweek Motif at PU

18 thoughts on “soliloquy of a season’s change

  1. “memories that
    do not bring home the sense of peace,
    all comfort cashed without a receipt.”

    Luv the way you worded those lines. And yoour dramatic poem Title.
    A very interesting poem i see you prefer the stark white peacefullness of winter.
    Nicely crafted

    much love…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! I hardly know where to begin! In a sense we both wrote about the choice of winter because of the disappointments of summer–but you go deeper! The suicide note of summer, incomplete, sticks with me, scabs and all. The motif of the head / balloon in the wind plays through all the stanzas. I wish it found peace in its decision to stop in this moment, that “ponderous pause” with its brilliant last hiss.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Susan! That pause is sometimes required while at other times enforced for a semblance of peace, I guess. As seasons change, our survival instincts set in and keep us going. Ha! 🙂
      Also, I forgot to mention how I loved your putting in Amrita Sher-Gil’s work in your post. I was recently admiring her portraits at the National Gallery of Modern Art here. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well we choose to stay and enjoy winter whereas others flee to warmer climes such as birds and whales that don’t need passports and tickets. However by staying we should understand that some need to shed their clothes and sleep like trees and wake refreshed in Spring. Yet we moan at the inconvenience, the power bills and lack of fresh fruit so feel sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’ve captured winter in this poem, Anmol, especially the feelings and emotions. I love the contrast of ‘morning winds weigh heavier and / the body feels like a helium balloon, / canvassing the landscape through / a bare string’ and ‘all comfort cashed without a receipt’ – there’s no going back.
    I enjoyed the philosophy of the second stanza and the resigned acceptance of the third, and felt a tingle when I read the lines:
    ‘i choose winters — undying deaths,
    mossy sepulchers, fog-white dreams
    and a ponderous pause — silent,
    seething, singing’.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Stunning!!
    Soliloquy? Why, it’s the cacophony of a bleeding heart.. I loved it to the core, Anmol:)
    ‘comfort cashed without a receipt’, ‘breathe all loss’ and ‘undying deaths,
    mossy sepulchers, fog-white dreams
    and a ponderous pause — silent,
    seething, singing’… Amazingly beautiful man!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pat: willow88switches says:

    wow – this is rich for the images – and I’m just soaking it in, from the idea of lightheadedness – helium balloon head to all the details in the stanzas … they are so “thoughtful” and wonderfully creative – “summer’s tinders and twigs” … the scabs, bites etc. … it’s all very wonderful. And I would perhaps speak more to it – but alas, for my pain levels, I am, naturally on a “helium balloon” head high. So I’m just going to sit with this and absorb …. summer’s suicide note … love the alliteration …

    Liked by 1 person

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